Redeem this text for a blowjob
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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