you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
