My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
