Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
