I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
