We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
