i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
