and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
