I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
