this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
