Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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