jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
