I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
