So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
