nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
