Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Randomize
