id be glad to
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
