hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
