You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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