the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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