She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
