You smell like stripper and shame
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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