His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
