What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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