Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
