with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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