I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
