my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
