so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
