my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
