Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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