Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
