if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
