The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
