he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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