he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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