How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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