I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
