I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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