Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
