I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
