i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is wine microwaveable?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
