Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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