I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
