either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
