you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize