EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
