I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found a bag of teeth...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
