I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
