forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
